The Onion

Your weekly dose of America's most beloved fake newspaper:

Area Man Going To Go Ahead And Consider That A Date


MOUNT PLEASANT, PA—Anthony Pennline, 28, decided Tuesday, following a random encounter at a coffee shop with 26-year old acquaintance April Geyer, that their cordial, 45-minute conversation along with his offer to walk her home basically constituted a date. "I mean, it wasn't official or anything, but if I had asked her to have coffee with me, and she were to have said yes, the result would have been exactly the same," said Pennline, adding that the encounter was even more of a date when he offered to buy her another cup of coffee. "It's pretty clear she's probably really into me." According to Pennline, he has dated two other girls this month, the first of which occurred spontaneously during the happy-hour reception of his high-school reunion, and the second at the movies when he briefly spoke to a woman before the theater went dark.