Baring My Adolescent Soul. Be Gentle With It.

Eleven years ago I was instructed to write a letter to myself. On the envelope, in large print it reads: "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2009!" The letter, was naturally forgotten. I stumbled upon it around age twenty and since that time, I had been eagerly anticipating 2009. I read it January 1st, 2009. I set it aside and once again forgot about it. Just last night, after some organizing, it resurfaced. The letter made me happy. It made me sad. I'm glad to know that the core person has always been the same. Sure, my 13-year-old mind was simple and petty, but it was tender and pure. I can't let my 13-year-old self down. Many of these goals I've accomplished. Some I haven't. Oh, and my grammar was atrocious. Here is the unedited, deepest darkest thoughts of me at age 13. Enjoy.



5-19-99


Dear Alison,

Hey How are ya. I bet your alot different than 10 years, hopefully your nice :) Right now your 13 years old.. Life well sucks being a teenager. I'm in the seventh grade at Dyker Heights I.S. 201. I'm in class 7SPE-1. My favorite teacher is Mr. May. What an intellect. My least favorite teacher Mr. Typrowicz, what a fruitcake he is. I live at 1555 Benson ave. Right now your in Home and Careers 8th period. I'm thinking about high school, I don't want to go to New Utrecht. I want to go to Fort Hamilton. Adam goes there he's so cute. I love art and poetry, huge Monet fan. I just ordered some cd's from BMG, was that a mistake? Hope not. Mom is planning to let me go to California with Jill, I'm so excited. Blyth is my pioneer partner, she's nice in a weird way. Amy just dyed her hair midnight black.

Today you got 60% on a math pop quiz and a 83% on a Social Studies Test. Not such a good day. Nevermind not such a good month. Richard Diomede is his name and harassing me is his game that's what he does best. he calls me Bubba Fat a*s, and every other name in the book. I've just taken care of him real good, you should remember. OOOhhh :) I'm getting baptized in 11 days yup Sunday May 30, 1999. How exciting. My parents bought a timeshare and Grandma Dora lives with us. Ah! Listen nobody knows this but I think (name removed for self-preservation) is cute. I mean he is. So is Brad Pitt, Ryan Philippe and Brendan Fraiser. Wow! Their cute. How are these people, probably really, really old, that stinks. Huh.

Now, about you. Yes you, 23 years old, you! Wow si that weird, 23, I think that my turning 15 would be a huge thing. I hope your happy, and you have a really good relationship with your family, you probably will be giong to your brothers graduation, or was that 2008, I don't know, just take care of him make sure he's okay. Oh, and keep on keeping daddy from eating all that junk. Yuck! Heart attack, I tell you. I wish, I hope your in some beautiful European country or in a huge apartment in Manhattan. You'll probably have red hair, I've always wanted red hair and 2 piercings in each ear. I hope you've got like the world's greatest-best friend, because right now I feel like I don't have a friend in the world, loneliness can get to you. I hope your in love with some great sweet gorgous guy who treats you like a queen, and if your still looking don't get desperate.

Live your life, carpe diem. (Sieze the day) Do fascinating things like move to France or going to climb a mountain something like that, Men aren't the only important thing in life, but what should I know I'm 13 your 23. I have these fantasies of my future I act like I'm older. I dream I live in an awesome apartment with my best long time bug, and my golden retriever. I'll have a great boyfriend, drive a bmw and be a court reporter making about $85,000 a year and pioneer. This is what I'm expecting of you. Somewhat of great expectations. Technology has probably really changed, maybe you can travel places in less than an hour, or there are people living on the moon. Computers are probably doing everything for you, people are probably very lazy. I hope your a world traveler and you've almost accomplished my goal of visiting every continent. I hope you have had your scuba lessons.

I bet Max is really over-protective even when he was 8 he was (worry-ward) I hope you are a size 6. I always wanted to be thin. I'm definitely not now. Do you still paint. If you don't you should continue. I really hope your happy, It's just that happiness is important. Call mom at least 3 times a week at least. 23 is supposed to be my lucky number, therefore making it my lucky age. Is it lucky at all? I guess that's up to you, me, we're all the same person. I don't want children till I'm past 32, so I could spend some years with my hubby. Children's name should be Kirstin Azura__________ & Ethan Jaykob___________. THose are nice names. Let's see, my favorite color is blue. I'm 5'10. Fat (underlined immensely in the original letter.) I love rock music. Metallic Rocks. I'm usually very funny, and loves chocolate and ice cream Yum :) I love my family and our relationship lately it's improved. I hope that by now you are smiling and crying. So kudos to you, and what does kudos mean, and well, take care of......me!

Love,
Alison Santiago '99